Thursday, January 31, 2008


Today as I walked up towards campus I was passed by a young couple, as they passed I thought they were a bit quirky but that's normal for a young couple at BYU, but what happened next was not (nor should it ever be) normal. As they passed me and got about 15 feet in front of me. They slowed their walk and the woman in the couple let one rip, and expelled a 6 to 7 second flatulence. I was too shocked to laugh out loud. I just stood there, as over the course of 5 to 6steps an otherwise normal, adult, woman blasted out a Massive, Extended Fart, the couple just laughed and continued walking as if nothing happened. while I understand that once you married you'll see and hear a lot of things that you didn't when you were dating, I hope I don't ever become so uncouth and comfortable in public, in my opinion it reflects poorly on the spouse. Wow, this ,without exaggeration, really did just happen!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Neither New Nor People

But I thought this was still worth sharing. I mean, they must have been somebody's dogs, that they brought with them then left in the car. Seen in the parking lot of Costco. They were perfectly contented till they saw me taking pictures. I suppose I'd get mad too if I had the paparazzi after me.

And yes, they are real.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Heads Up (and/or) 7 Up

We played it in my class today. At college. I snapped a shot because I live in a silly town. More pertinent to the goals of this blog though is the fact that there were so many very eager participants. At risk of being prematurely stuffy... don't we pay to be here? Heads up y'all.

Also I was walking through the Crabtree Building and there he was. Honest Abe. I felt so bare in his presence, but I figured since he was at the lectern I was decently safe to bust out the old Nokia Voyeur-Pal 2000 and document his return.

Why is there a wax statue of Abraham Lincoln delivering a lecture in the basement of the engineering building? Give the devil his due. Put him in the humanities building. Cheers, team.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Send In the Clowns

The original purpose of clowns was to entertain, with their zany antics and balloon manipulation, but somehow, as time went on, clowns have slowly replaced postal workers as the profession for the depressed, drunk, neurotic and/or insane. I think that's what caught me off guard when I saw this unmarked van with a clown at the wheel. If the van said "Party Plaza" or something to give the impression it was headed to a birthday party I'd understand the get up, but as I mentioned before the van was unmarked which leaves her final destination a mystery to us. My interpretation is the Driver/Clown just snapped a 4-year-old's birthday party and in some jealous rage is making a B-line for her ex-lovers house, leaving a wake of tears and fears in the children's eyes.

Thats just my take on it, if you have another possible explanation for this feel free to post it.

P.D.A. is A-OK

That is, by me. But these days your inability and/or unwillingness to "get a room", as so many teeth-sharpening, pre-pubescent pups are want to request, could land you in a much larger network of onlookers than, say, the line at Subway. When you choose to make out in public, you are rolling the dice at becoming someone's blog fodder, and despite the common notion held by so many who decline the option to "set the mood", the people that make fun of you are definitively not jealous. Some things are just gross. If you have ever seen a mother rat eat her young you will agree. I envy neither party in the transaction involving rats, nor do I wish (even in some untapped realm of my subconscious) to make a spectacle of my romantic endeavors. I trust we are clear on that.

While I have no footage (and believe me, I wish badly that I did) of the following event it is my finest illustration of the point. Years ago, before the health renaissance in her life, my sister Amy and I were at that most loved of all Tex-Mex establishments, Chili's. An enjoyable outing , as I recall, until three quarters of the way through the meal Amy looked up to laugh at something I had said and simultaneously dropped her utensil and clutched the tiled table while making a face that indicated obviously, to me, that the people behind me must have been vomiting on one another. I saw no other explanation. So I slowly began to turn around out of sheer morbid curiosity. Before my head had made it 90 degrees of its rotation Amy managed to unhook her claws from the table and sink them cleanly into the back of my hand. Without a word, she slowly shook her head from side-to-side. This was nothing for children. I pried her hand off my own and took a more leisurely seat in our booth so that I might nonchalantly observe things for myself.

I turned around to find a most unappealing couple gazing at each other with hideous dewy eyed wonderment at an unsettlingly close range. Now, I may have exaggerated a little bit before, though not much. However this piece is, in it's entirety, true. Seconds after I had them soundly in my sights the couple craned their heads back, an inch or so each, and then, as though attached by a taut coil, flew into one another's faces with such intensity that I was genuinely concerned for the physical composition of them. It appeared to me that the sheer force of the impact would have been enough, if ill-placed, to either shatter the cartilage in the nose or completely remove a tooth. They then twisted their heads about violently, like dogs trying to pull flesh off a carcass, as the pure energy of their love seemed to literally lift them off the seat in the booth. No breathing for a good ten seconds. Just the sound of stirring macaroni as their tongues slopped and swirled in and out of each others mouths. Amy was right. It was terrifying.

Thankfully their waitress came and halted the whole thing. A salsa wielding referee. It was just long enough for us to drop down some dollars and make our speedy escape. For which, we were both grateful.

P.D.A. is not the exclusive endeavor of this blog but I figured since I had a good story, I couldn't really miss.

One additive, since we all love them so much, is this picture of a couple in the Wilkinson Center. This is arguably the highest traffic location of any on BYU campus and this couple thought, "No. This is an alright place to straddle each other and play games with each other's hair." I disagreed, but had not the stomach to stop them. When it's funny, let the good times roll. Cheers team.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Welcome to the New Blog

Well, if you weren't sure, you are at a little blog started by a few BYU students. Our idea here is simple. We wanted a repository to store our observances of the strange things people do around here. Or anywhere really, but being as we reside in Utah Valley, I can only imagine most of the strange people we see will be around these parts.

Like these kids:

If you can't tell, these three are playing a first-person shooter, presumably against each other, in the LRC. Thats Learning Resource Center, for those of you not hip with BYU (sorry, Brigham Young University) lingo. It's in the library. And the one on the far right, the girl, just had a conversation with what could only have been her husband or very close boyfriend.

Let's recap. Three students, one of them a girl (already spoken for) playing a run-around-and-blow-each-other-to-smithereens game, in the Learning Resource Center of the Harold B. Lee Library. And I felt frivolous for blogging from here.

Don't get me wrong. I think those games are great fun. But isn't there a time and place for everything, and maybe this isn't the best setting? Just a thought.

Or how about this group, spotted by D. Smith:

In the time between my finance and bowling classes I discovered a new spectator sport...beginning country dance.

Nothing serves as better awkwardness magnifier than a loud, techno, remix of the song "Cotton-Eye-Joe."
From my brief observation I've noticed one move executed by most of the students was the "nonchalant check for pit stain move." This move consists loosely of; sneaking a quick peak at your sweaty pits or while your partner is looking elsewhere, or on one of the moves where you lift your arms.
All jokes aside, they look like they're having fun being physically close with members of the opposite sex, which, after all, is the real point of that class.

That is just a sampling. If you happen to see anything blog-worthy in the arena of people watching, especially from Happy Valley, just send it on our way. Pictures are a must (I know you have a camera-phone) and any necessary background on the subject helps as well. We'll post it right here.

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