Decisions

You swipe you card, Your balance is $1.25, what are your options? well lets see, bagel with cream cheese, carrot sticks with ranch dressing, none of that feels like it will hit the spot, hmmmm. anything else?



thanks Sam for spotting this.

Not wasting any time

From our friend and reader Bryan J Bryce.
NOTE: Doesn't that name just roll off the tongue? Doesn't it?

Found these in the tunnel near the Canon Center, Thought it was pretty funny that they were right next to each other.

Bryan, isn't that tunnel next to the dorms? Where the freshman live? I wonder who decides where to put these, and if they really want to push speed-dating and pregnancy, or, as I call them when mentioned together, quick-mating.

A Thin Red Line

Always check the Wilk Board, it's gold every time.

This time with some help from an anonymous editor and their red pen. With one stroke of genius he took this ordinary crock pot offer and turned it into something we can all enjoy.

plus that's a great deal on a Crack Pot.

Always check the Wilk board

TJH - D.I. Adventures

I'll just cut to the chase, shall we?

This is one of those things that can't be learned from a book. Memorization isn't quite muscle-memory.

I'm imagining Chuck Norris studying really hard for his final in Kung-Fu-Kollege. I'll bet this guy was his professor.


Note that the book clearly teaches how to fend off three men at once, one of whom has a machete on the cover


I was absolutely puzzled by this title and front graphic. I opened the cover to investigate. It was a short investigation. The book argued the virtues of a genderless society. Ya, you're probably right. Everything would be better if we were all gray and asexual, like flatworms. Those flatworms have got it figured out.

WHO, I ask you WHO buys and/or uses this or any other Big Dog brand merchandise? WHO?
It's a mousepad.
What is this person trying to say with their choice in heavily branded...anything "Big Dog"? Is it a manliness thing? 'Cause I don't think the Harry Potter motif is helping the cause.

On the subject of gender identity, I thought the women's lib movement was largely in the 60's. Apparently, it was still okay to talk down to simple-minded female folk in the 90's.
Maybe I'm being a little harsh though. They are trying to reach out to girlies to explain that darn confusing man machine, the computer.

All sarcasm aside, I don't know how you make computer instruction gender specific. Really.

Geography Fail

Somehow, this doesn't seem to work out.

WHERE DO THESE ONIONS COME FROM? WHERE?
I mean...they're in Provo...but...but...

I'm so confused.
I'm so scared.

Multitask

Thank you Costco.

Because free sample cream puffs and celebrity gossip are best consumed together.

...and if you read all about LeAnn Rimes' relationship while you're still in the store, you don't have to pay for the magazine.

Where You Go When Your Trailer Home Doesn't Fit A Couch.

Stalemate

As I sat in the library studying game theory, I noticed someone else doing some strategic thinking as well. He was playing chess. Chess is an interesting game. You have to get inside the mind of the other player and anticipate his moves. This proves quite difficult, unless the other player is,well... you. Alone. By yourself, in a library cubicle.

Mystery Meat? Not any more.

I've heard that in some places in Africa, on the jars and cans, they put a picture of the contents as to avoid confusion among those who are illiterate. the story says that Gerber failed to note this in their market research, and as they stocked Africa with their first shipments of baby food with that adorable Gerber baby on the jars, the result was a lot of appalled African women.

I didn't know we had similar problems with illiteracy here in Provo, but apparently at Albertsons they've decided we need our dead pigs to better resemble.... well... dead pigs.

If you ask me, Pork Sausage should fall under the umbrella of advice given in the movie Tommy Boy:

"I could sure get a good look at a t-bone by sticking my head up a bulls butt*, but I'd rather take the butchers word for it."

Even those that are ravenous carnivores would rather not conjure up visions of what their breakfast sausage looked like when it was still alive and kicking. Plus, who wants someone sticking superfluous fingers in their sausage?

*(edited, sorry to all the purists)

4 Life

This happens in LA. This happens in NY. I didn't think this happened in UT.


This is a fountain (covered for winter) in a park in Orem. Fitting that I see this the day after the Vanilla Ice/MC Hammer concert in the same town? Probably.

Man. I can't believe I missed that concert.

Banyan

Went to a friend's for lunch, and what does he have sitting on his shelf? A 1927 school yearbook from the BYU. Amazing what you can find at local garage sales.




This must have been quite the guy. I'll bet people liked him.



And why, when you say the same thing about a woman, does it sound a little bit suggestive?